Category Archives: Dojocho Talks

Something I wanted to convey about practice: one thing that becomes real for you is that your soul probably would be a lot happier if instead of trying to get some kind of evenness or something like that, instead you would support other people’s attempt at becoming virtuous…  meaning: be there in the right way when they’re attempting to learn it. Don’t judge them at all.

When you do that, when you’re there for their virtue, and not to criticize or solve their difficulties, it provides you with a glimpse into that singularity of spirit that actually exists and is quite a contrast to people who have nothing to do with that spirit and are still trying to maybe get revenge or get even for something, even thought that’s impossible. And so it ends up blocking their progress, because they don’t ever discover this other undiscovered place.

This is that ‘impossible planet’ I allude to.

So I think ‘beginning times’, the first of October, is a good time to support that and see what that feels like.

• – – – Kimbal Anderson Sensei

In training we have the constant opportunity for self-polishing to be able to – in real time – see who we are and polish the mirror.

Now, sometimes we have to deal with moments that are quite get-your-attention, or epic, or whatever, but the general every-day is about courage in the mundane: courage to correct yourself as you go along and not hang on to frozen self image or all that other stuff.

And one of the big deals when you see deeply, or begin to, is that you’ll discover that often we project the reasons for things on others and we don’t take the full empowerment to self-correct. 

And by self-correction, literally, our sensory input changes.

I mean, what we see… what we look for… 

A person who’s afraid of snakes, only sees snakes, but a person who seeks self-correction will find a way to determine what’s a snake and what’s a rope. 

And taking that on without the baggage of society.

Societal baggage is something like: this is what success is – you’re 27, you should be doing this… you’re 42, you should be doing this… 

That’s not what I’m talking about. It’s refining your self-knowledge meaning you you understand what you believe. You understand how you believed it. And you began to correct it to real time… to the real situation – we say nakaima – you return to the centre of now and you’re able to reorganize the energies of the body and the mind and the spirit, so that you begin to actually create a new mitama. It’s based on all the energies that existed before already, however it’s a self-aware mitama. You’re not going through the motions. You’re not victims of the outside.

You’re yourself. 

It does require of you to determine what self-sabotage is present.  You know, sometimes the things we choose as signs of self-empowerment and autonomy are quite literally the opposite. We literally choose things for the adolescent in our mind. The same thing that would have transformed in adolescence, maybe you’re 50 or something:  you never transformed it. Often you can get stuck again, because you act like someone who’s 14, mentally and spiritually and everything, and you want to please that old part of yourself or make it feel better about reality or whatever… and you actually never move on. You can reward that stuck place for your whole  life. I’ve seen many people who are frozen when it comes down to like learning and choosing and particularly seeing where you fit in the universe. You’ve got to get beyond those things.

And so the self-awareness part requires this encounter with your negative self, and instead of fighting it and seeing that it’s bad or something like that, you simply see how it’s structured your perceptions… how it’s structured your behaviours… how it’s also structured how you received things… because receptivity…  …The universe is infinitely abundant and with the right kind of change you can accept big gifts that come.

And you act like a spiritual adult, which I think aikido allows us to learn. It allows us to really perceive our spirit-mind-body self directly every time we practise – it’s right there – and then give up the thing:  ‘I am wrong, I need to fix it,’  ‘I am bad…’ ‘I am…’ …you know…

Instead, go, ‘this is how I’m functioning.’ ‘This is what I believe…’ The belief thing is far more important than your age. 

I always tell people who come see me, “don’t let the old one in! It’s not time. Stay awake! Stay lively! Learn! Learn! Learn!Learn!” “You’re a hundred? Oh yes, you’re just getting started, man,  just keep learning!”

And I have learned this from people who have gone before me, who have shown me what is possible.

And I’ve also seen the opposite who have let that part of themselves win. And then it’s like “well now I don’t have to fight… I’ll just let it suck me down into Ourobatta…”

“Well, okay!!!”

I’m not saying it’s bad or good I’m just saying that’s that. 

However, it’s not what we do… that’s not what aikido‘s about… We are infinitely learning to adapt and be awake… in that a person who can constantly adapt and become one with things and move with the great flow… eventually their personality becomes the great flow, they become mikoto because they vibrate with it.  They didn’t take it away or earn it they just became that.

And I think that our training is meant as a kind of  becoming versus a kind of achieving.

• – – – Kimbal Anderson Sensei

I mean it’s pretty hilarious that there’s a big lawsuit and a big thing going on at Stonehenge, because they want to put a highway…  It’s a ‘f*** you’, a ‘we don’t care’… ‘it’s the modern times: who cares about this stuff???’ 

It sucks. 

The humor is that if they dug the tunnel they would discover so much archeology… but how fast would they try to do it? 

Would they take the time to really do it? Heck no!

But what I can’t figure out why they don’t just move it over a mile or two and then pull that existing highway up so it’s  n o t  the bypass anymore. The obvious thing is move it over a mile…

But why not?

It’s like here…

It’s like a lot of things could be way better…

But the system drives everyone to work a little faster than their actual best self. So stupid decisions are made, and no-one, unless you carve your own life out, no-one does their best work.

And it’s a measure of how appalling our so-called ‘management culture’ is that the only way they can tell if they’re getting the most out of  everyone is that once they drive them to the point where their work-quality degrades slightly: that’s where they want them. Which, to a real team-leader, is absolutely crazy.

Unless you carve out your own place…

And I think this whole working-from-home thing… people experienced themselves without…

…and there’s a whole lot more to come… 

…it’s not over till it’s over…

• – – – by Kimbal Anderson Sensei

So…

Something I was considering was things like what we do… aikido or sword or whatever… how they are culturally informing for us. And I was thinking about what you talk about: this mass-intermingling of people all across Europe for millennia, before feudalism shut that all down, and made it normal to   n o t   travel. And that they too must have had some kind of moment where some Saxon mother yells at her son: “Why are you doing this Danish stuff?!!!”

Well, what he’s doing is using something from another place and culture to examine and fulfill his own place in time, in his own culture.

Culture is not static. It’s moving and breathing.

So you have to think: how many times they ran into stuff. And when you and I talk about the words, and if I take into account how you hear words evolve now, then it’s probably not important that it’s a word from Egypt so much as there’s that cross-movement of information and knowledge that informs the adoption of a word from Egypt. And how does that become a rural Wessex idiom that we recognize as close-to-the-earth and bawdy and has that definite sing-song quality?… “Tilly-valley, Lady”? “Missy Nut noo!!!”

And it’s a cross-movement, too, of sentiment. So I think often we take up these practices to find a place for our sentiment in a confused society. Which I think we’re in. It’s very confused.

So kids take on, like, it used to be this whole ninja-samurai thing. Then it got to be like Thor, and all that stuff. And now it’s the anti-hero: the person who is so disaffected that they’re not even sure why they’re doing anything, whatever it may be. So everything they say is sarcastic wit… without wisdom. Just wit. Without wisdom. 

So I think often we take on these older practices because we don’t think they’ve been hijacked yet. And there’s probably some truth to it.

And I would say with aikido especially, it is not super-popularized any more, because the culture doesn’t express the virtues any more.

Now, do I think it will come back? 

Yeah. 

I think the virtues are of human depth.  They are not even necessarily cultivated:  they express themselves biologically.  And then people enhance them with culture.

If I try to compare what’s going on right now to some other time… well… there’s certain things that look similar… just the human tumult… but mostly: there are so many cultures and forces being used like tennis rackets by media and political groups and whatever. There’s such a deep commitment to controlling the mind.  No-one’s allowed to have one. And so our practice allows us to have one, and also endeavor to experience ourselves from there without all the other noise on top…

I see that really pretty strong today.

That’s why we need plan B…

• – – – Kimbal Anderson Sensei

But we don’t take time…

Because it’s easier to say, “oh, you know… It’s like you know…” 

It doesn’t mean anything.

So I do recommend you do this.  I also think, anything that’s really important to you: sit down, find the right space, and ask yourself:  “what do I mean?” For instance: “what do I mean by ‘freedom’?” Own it.  And if you find that the definition you discover, you aren’t proud of, change it. Why not? You’re in control, you can do what you want.

But if you never know, you could  be doing things that appear to others to be pretty mean. Hostile. And not even know it, I mean, totally not know it.  Because if you don’t know what you’re feeling, you can’t know what you’re saying.

It’s kind of a confusion building on confusions. You’ve never been around that, have you? People arguing about something that’s not even actually in the room any more?

So I’m suggesting, for the sake of budo, because you’re highly skilled, and if you did have to preserve your liberties and freedoms and stuff, 

you’d be effective… …but if you haven’t defined them, I wouldn’t want you to do it, to be honest, as your teacher. That’s just knee-jerk weirdness: ‘I punch you because I can…’

That’s an odd point of view.

You know? 

Because you don’t know: the other guy might be really able to punch harder.

And it’s not wise.

There’s no wisdom in it. 

And you’ll probably get your clock adjusted, your timing reset… at some point…

Okay?

Excellent. You guys are doing good. 

You can see this double spin? We’re going to do it one more time before we go… get a partner!  Let’s go!!!!

• – – – Kimbal Anderson Sensei

I learned these different forms of prayer once, and there was this one kind called “within your collar”, meaning that it’s just here.

And there’s other kinds… where you… here… only inside…

The one by your collar, I think, has a lot to do with feelings of respect and personal liberty simultaneously.

You’re taking full responsibility for how you do it.

You’re not trying to harm anyone.

But I do recommend you do it. Because if you never have….

If you’ve never done this, how can you tell me I’ve taken it from you?

If you’ve never done this how can you say I plan to take it from you?

If you’ve never done this… I might actually have exactly the same definition, and then we would be on another plane altogether, right?

But we don’t take time…

• – – – Kimbal Anderson Sensei

The community of humanity needs to learn to do this now. Like, now. Not tomorrow, or… It’s got to start now. 

You are all individuals, you’ve trained yourselves…  My words aren’t completely gibberish… Contemplating that definition for yourself is important. What is ‘liberty’? ‘freedom’? Do they match? Do they have to match?

I would enjoy hearing where you’re coming from. I would really be… I know you pretty well and I feel your life… however, to hear you tell me: that’s a big deal to me: to know what you think those are. 

And then I’d be curious if you had definitions that can not be taken from you, that are they’re not so situational. They’re an internal place of being ‘free’ and having ‘liberty’.

I think about people who get really upset about not being allowed to do this and that and usually I just think: ‘well, I don’t think you were told you can’t do it, you just can’t make me do it.  I’m not going to, for instance, go bow to Mecca several times a day… I’m just not going to do it. But will I allow that and help you…?  yes, sure…

That is easy to do, if inside you have a clear idea of what those mean to you. You need to own them, because you live them…

And probably the times you get most tweaked – when people really tweak you – it’s because they impinge on that definition. They’re taking liberties when you’re offering liberty. That’s different. 

I bet all of you would be way more contented if you found this balance, for yourself…

I’m not going to tell you what it is, just like a won’t tell you what ‘health’ is…

I can tell you my definition but that’s just mine. 

But if you haven’t investigated these things, I would.

Put down the angry incense.

I love that: the definition of a sparkler… ‘angry incense’… it stinks, and it puts off bright lights and stuff and we throw it around representing wars. It’s angry incense. 

And I just think about: if we get beyond the clichés… Well, you don’t do it by criticizing someone else’s version. That’s not it at all. That has nothing to do with how you yourself are actually operating. And if that’s all you’ve got, that’s called ‘bigotry’, ‘bullying’, ‘lording over’ and all that.

Get your own definition, and see if you’ll live it.

Will you offer your own definition to the other?

Will you treat them like you want to be treated?…

It would require coming up with some clarity about what these things are to you, first, rather than quoting some angry person or quoting some enamored person…

Find your own voice. 

That’s freedom.

You don’t have to yell it.

You can just have it here.

• – – – Kimbal Anderson Sensei

…it’s super-important, super-important…

…because when people want to argue about this and that and whatever, you can really check: ‘does that change my heart?’…  ‘have I suddenly turned into x, y, z because of it?’…

That’s the contemplation on ‘freedom’ and ‘liberty’ I’m interested in.

Because, in the end, each of us have our own individual experience. We may have all kinds of connections and all that, but the reality is: here you are.

So I think sometimes if you’ve never… …you know… I trap you guys on the table and go: ‘Okay, give me your definition of ‘health’, because I want to know if I can help you.’ And often you’ve never thought about it, not verbally. And we go through a little dance and eventually you 

tell me your version and I say ‘ok’ … either I know something about that or I don’t – I can say “I have no idea”, right? On the other hand, we’re starting to talk about something, and you just think: while communicating we develop a kind of trusting intimacy, based on learning to communicate.

Not on anything else.

It’s not based on money or on any other assumptions. It’s “I am open to communicate… I am not dis-enfranchised from my own inside self…  I’m keeping my liberty there…” you know?

And I have the freedom to choose to communicate with you, and you have the freedom to choose to communicate or not.

But when you get a couple of people who are doing it on purpose, with that recognition of each other’s liberty – – – wow – – – it’s amazing what can happen…

I’ve been with people that I did not speak their language but after the evening, I could communicate, and they could communicate… I got it. You know?

Then it made me really want to learn their words, because it was like: I hear them say something, I’m beginning to understand that means something, and in particular… you know? So gosh, I want to learn that word…

…and then it all gets easy….

…and you realize:

The community of humanity needs to learn to do this now.

• – – – Kimbal Anderson Sensei

I’ve been asked to talk about some concepts, and about how our practice fits into the concept of ‘freedom’ – this very interesting word…you know…

For myself, having to learn different kinds of disciplines to manage my own freedom was important.  A two-year-old can be free, and do stuff like set the house on fire… and things…

Maybe we bandy the word around a lot without looking at geopolitically where we are. 

‘Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness’ has become synonymous with ‘freedom’. It’s like we substitute it, we make them the same word. If you’ve ever been in a situation like a ship: of course you have freedom, you may think and do all this stuff that’s ‘freedom’…You can feel like you’re helping others maintain their liberties…

I’m using different words: ‘liberties’ and ‘freedom’ don’t necessarily match.

I happen to have been a bit of a historian, and I will say this up-front: I am simply extrapolating from data: my memories of the seventeen-hundreds are kind of vague now, I have to tell you, just a little vague… so…

…what a person was speaking of in that time, was often the liberty to make personal choices that could make your life good for you. Now… we live in such a strange materialistic age, it’s kind of hard for us to separate it from those people. But maybe their concept of a good life wasn’t… well, we know it wasn’t the stock-market, we know it wasn’t retirement – you follow me? We know that that wasn’t the thing. They’d already had some pretty nasty bickering over religious tolerance. ‘Are you free to believe in ‘X’ – whatever it might be ? 

So they had all this argument. 

And they determined something:

They would look for the more culturally accepted version of what’s life about.

Let’s say you’re some super-super-duper pilgrim protestant, the ones who are like: ‘you’ve got a belt-buckle? What? That’s wrong!!!!”  Those guys had a certain idea of ‘freedom’. ‘Freedom’ was to be safely in a system that helped you attain some kind of goodness within a context. They just made rules that you can’t do this and you can’t do that in order to maintain what they believed was the freedom to choose. 

It seems weird, I know, it seems a little paradoxical, however that was a common thing: we’ll make a series of regulations and if we all obey them, we may experience freedom

What’s that mean? 

Maybe freedom from being separated from the collective; maybe freedom from not-knowing where you fit… I know a lot of people whose concept of being free is having located a niche, and successfully occupying it, because they do acquire wealth, and they do acquire certain things, and that represents freedom to them.

So when you get a bunch of people talking about the concept it gets very interesting because they aren’t talking about the same thing, often. But they think they are.

And if I say ‘the great real’… that allows everyone a place at that table. The second I say it’s ‘Mohammed’ then that’s an exclusive table… 

However…

The United States right now is going through a strange moment.

Society has changed tremendously. The genie is not going back in the bottle…it’s way too late for that. 

We have a global society. Literally. And that global society is not based on ethics, it’s based on money, profitabilities. Many of the 

entities involved want dominance or monopoly. 

Can any of us be free like we consider it when you have absolute corporate monopolies for power, water, governance, police protection…?

It’s weird.

If we had a very benevolent, trust-worthy governance we could probably pull it off. Because we’d all be consenting… we’d say ‘my consensus is…’  I want you to be free, but please don’t build a hog-lot over my well.

And that’s where we’ve hit. Hog-lot over the well. 

I think the big sticky part, right now, is there’s only so many people, and only so much resource to be taken. It’s been sub-divided into tinier and tinier chunks and all that, so much so that people think that ‘freedom’ is they have a quarter acre lot in Meridian.

I mean… what are they asking about? What are they saying?

Often freedom means freedom from fear. Some people will accept draconian management on every level to be free of fear. 

Others want nutt’n to be free of fear. They fear the fireman more than the fire.

This is not new, so you understand… Fire departments really have a strange history…

But what is it in yourself? 

Addressing my own situation, freedom is the ability to continually renew my openness to ‘real’ – to the real thing because I’m always being put in situations that ask questions of me and give me choices of behaviors.

They can also show me biological freedom.

Let’s say you’re a diabetic… Freedom is what?  Well, the ultimate one would be no diabetes.

But operating in that place: freedom is ‘not dying’. 

And in my personal opinion a kinder society would make insulin free. It would also educate people as to how you can kind of bring it on… too many Mountain Dews and stuff. 

To me, ‘freedom’ is also knowledge. Knowledge, you know, so I can be of use. 

I might be a really nice person,  but if I’m really ignorant, I might not be able to put a tourniquet on you. I might not be able to participate in expressing my liberties.

I like the concept – this is personal – that a human being can work with themselves to become a decent human… They can create a relationship to the ‘real’… to the stuff.  

They don’t have to lord over others about it…

Because you realize that every realization you have changes you.

So who’s wrong?

You were wrong yesterday, but you’ve grown, right?  

And this is kind of a nice liberty to have.

It requires a couple of things, however: If you’ve ever been starved for calories one’s mind… is not very clear. It’s hard to learn stuff. Hard to take care of things.  If you’ve ever been thirsty to the point you’re going to faint, once again: you’re probably not going to work out higher math problems in your head. 

So are you free?

Huh!?!

Our ability to have our basic needs taken care of allow us to learn and develop knowledge and that allows us to see beyond our fence to the guy next door. 

It allows us to go to a place where you can’t speak the language, and learn a whole different sentiment. 

That happens when you really learn languages: there’s a sentiment that’s very unique to those people, and the way they talk. They have words for things, as they say.

And I find sometimes that kind of literacy, to be able to openly be and communicate and be fearless, is a very great from of liberty. I don’t trap myself…

And there’s that kind of learning about what makes you in here, in this dojo, ‘free’… 

• – – – by Kimbal Anderson Sensei

I feel most of budo training is, in the first stage, just basically getting confidence enough to make choices. 

In the later stages you will have confirmed with yourself ‘this is what I am to do,’ ‘this is the correct lineage to be with…’ And then you really focus your energy on it.

And that means all your parts – personality, all of it – needs to figure out a way to stay lined up with what you decided to learn.

This society promotes infinite distraction: ‘why learn this?’ ‘there must be… and there must… and there must…’  and pretty soon, you’re moving in quite a circle, and you start using the wrong evidence to confirm your choice. You have to determine what this evidence is. However, once determined, you stay with it and – in my own case – no matter how I related to my teachers when I was 30, I relate to them differently now. 

We knew this would happen.